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WHY WE HATE THEM 4: A battle of sexes with health facts in between

Dr. O.



…..Continued from episode 3.

I paused for a minute taking a deep breath when I reached the door. Was I really about to commit murder? My heart was badly broken and I was hurt but I wasn’t ready to spend the rest of my life in jail for murdering the idiot; scenes of him having pleasurable moments with his ex flashed through my head again, my eyes began welling up in tears, I was angry that I couldn’t kill him and get away with it; I wanted him to feel the hurt I felt. The doorbell rang again, interrupting my thoughts, I reluctantly walked back to the kitchen to return the knife and went to answer the door afterwards; just as I had suspected, it was him.

He smiled at me when I opened the door but I could tell he was a little uneasy, especially because I didn’t return the smile as usual, he did a good job in trying to cover up but I could read him like a book. “Did you forget something?” I finally asked still standing at the door, “I think I left my phone” he said looking over my shoulders towards the sofa, he was going to try to get past me then I pulled out the phone from my back pocket and handed it over, “here you go” I said hitting the phone on his chest and studying his reaction. I had decided to keep everything to myself, I didn’t want to confront him so he wouldn’t know I had gone through his phone.

Nonso was the kind of guy that wouldn’t admit anything till he was caught in the act, and even when he was, he always did everything to twist the story. In this case, the only evidence I had against him was on his phone and he had mentioned several times that he hated it when people went through his phone without permission; I knew that if I told him what I had just seen, he’d probably lie about everything and start focusing on the fact that I went through his phone instead and use that against me. He had done it many times in the past successfully, so I decided to play it cool till I could come up with a better plan to catch him red handed. It was really weird how he had a strong hold on me that even I couldn’t explain. I don’t know if it was because he was the first and only man I’d ever slept with but I just couldn’t seem to say “no” to him, I couldn’t stand to see him hurt or sad. A lot of times, even when I knew I was right and he was clearly wrong, I let him have his way just so peace would reign….

I looked at him in disgust while I waited for him to turn back and head home. I’m sure that from my reaction, he figured there was something wrong, “are you okay?” He asked looking guilty and concerned at the same time, “I’m okay” I said keeping a straight face, “I’m just tired”. I could tell he wasn’t convinced but knew better than to ask further questions, “I have to go now, I’m late for my appointment” he said giving me a peck on the cheek and dashing off. I cried my eyes out when he left and made up my mind to deal with him at the appropriate time. Later that evening, I called my best friend, Seun and told him all that had happened. Of everything that I had discovered, it was the video with his ex that bothered me the most, “Why do you think he slept with her?” I asked him, “there are many reasons he could’ve done that” Seun began, “It’s possible he still finds her irresistible, she’s very good in bed or she’s giving him something you’re not but it doesn’t change the fact that he loves you” By the time he was done with his sentence, I was even more confused than ever before, I felt like that was the most absurd thing I’d heard all year, especially coming from a guy that didn’t even cheat on his own girlfriend. It didn’t make sense to me that a guy would put his lips on another woman’s, get naked in front of her, sleep with her, record it, save it on his phone and still use the same dirty mouth to say he loved his girlfriend. How on earth is that love? How do guys even do that and look their partners in the eye without feeling guilty?

The only thing I was thankful for was the fact that so far, I hadn’t gotten any Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), I made up my mind that I was never making the mistake of sleeping with him without protection again. No matter how horny you feel, never have unprotected sex with your partner especially if the person sleeps around. There are many STIs out there and a lot of people that have them may not even be aware because some STIs don’t have any symptoms while others have symptoms like sores in the genital area, discharge from the penis, foul smelling discharge from the vagina and pain during sex. Make sure to see a doctor for treatment if you experience any of these symptoms and also make sure your sexual partner gets tested and treated or else you stand the chance of getting the infection again. After hanging up the call with Seun, I went into Detective Sonia mode; I decided to set a trap to catch Nonso myself, that way he wouldn’t be able to deny anything. I created a new Facebook account using a picture of a random beautiful African girl I saw online, I named her Kinga. Afterwards, I quickly put a couple of other random pictures including one of a group of girls posing at a party and captioned it “friends for life” , then I updated all the other details with fake info and made my privacy settings as tight as possible so that even my Facebook friends couldn’t see how many friends I had or view any photos I was tagged in.

When my fake account was ready, I started a conversation with him, I sent him a message saying I was a Kenyan babe who had just been transferred to Nigeria by my company and was looking to make new friends. I waited patiently for him to reply; Part of me knew he would reply, I figured it’d be difficult for him to resist the beautiful girl on the profile picture, the other part of me prayed he wouldn’t because it would break my heart if he did. Unfortunately, in less than 2 hours, he replied saying he thought I was cute and would love to have a Kenyan babe as beautiful as I was as a friend. That was how a 3 hour long chat started between Nonso and Kinga. Along the line, he sent a friend request and I accepted, then he complained that I didn’t have enough pictures of me on my Facebook and requested I uploaded more or send some to him personally, I told him I wasn’t a picture person but promised to try. I took the bold step to ask if he had a girlfriend, I cannot even begin to explain how fast my heart was beating while I waited for the response, I had hoped that he’d at least admit he had a girlfriend or something but he denied blatantly and went ahead to say he was looking for one. At that point I’d had enough but I still needed more concrete proof, so I kept playing along, the conversation went from cordial to dirty and at one point he was even requesting for nudes, but I promised to send him some after our first meeting. I guess that must’ve motivated him because he immediately asked for my phone number and set up a meeting at a hotel restaurant the next day. I told him that I hadn’t had time to get a SIM card yet but would really appreciate if he could assist me in getting one when we met and he agreed. That was how a date with Kinga was set for 6pm after work the next day.

I still needed to trap him more so the next day, I called him around 5pm and asked if we could see a movie together, “not today babe, I’m working late, I have a deadline to meet, we’ll go tomorrow, I promise” he said. I offered to come to his office to wait till he was done so we could catch the last movie showing but he said he’d be too tired so I gave up. Shortly after, he sent a message to Kinga telling her he was on his way to the restaurant, had reserved a table for two and was hoping they could spend the night together afterwards. I replied that I was really excited and was looking forward to spending the rest of my night with my first Nigerian date. An hour later I walked into the lobby of the 5-star hotel where Nonso had planned to meet Kinga and asked for directions to the restaurant, it was so beautiful, I’m pretty sure the food on their menu must’ve been very been expensive; I couldn’t believe he was willing to spend so much on a total stranger when he hadn’t even taken me to an ordinary fast food joint in over 3 months. The table he had reserved wasn’t too far from the door, I could see him through the glass doors so I called him on the phone and waited to see what he’d do, at first he didn’t pick, then when I kept calling he cut the call and sent a message that read “In a meeting”, I just smiled to myself after reading the message. I logged into Kinga’s Facebook and sent him a message saying I was at the hotel lobby and would be with him shortly, he replied saying “That’s great, can’t wait to finally meet you in person”. I watched him hurriedly adjust his shirt and tie and waited for a few more minutes before walking into the restaurant, he was backing the door and didn’t see me walk in, I went straight to the table where he was seated and tapped him on the shoulder from behind, “Hi Nonso, nice to finally meet you; it’s me Kinga”, I said as he turned to face me with confusion and shock written all over his face like someone who had just seen a ghost…..

Click here for episode 5

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Dr.O is a graduate of the University of Szeged in Hungary who is on a mission to reduce the mortality rate in our society by creating awareness about preventable and non-preventable diseases and empowering people with the necessary knowledge and information they need to take charge of their health. was co-founded by her as a means to fulfilling this mission. She is an MDCN (Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria) and Hungarian Medical Chamber certified doctor. When she is not busy looking for ways to make a difference in her environment, you can find her trying out new recipes in the kitchen or touring the world.