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WHY WE HATE THEM 3: A battle of the sexes with health facts in between

Dr. O.

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…..continued from episode 2.

Specimen 3 is my best friend Seun and before you start thinking naughty thoughts, we’re not friends with benefits. I know it’s hard to believe but a guy and girl can actually be best friends with no strings attached. Seun has a girlfriend he’s been dating for about 5 years,her name is Jennifer. They’ve been dating since their first year in University and he loves her with his life. Believe it or not he’s never cheated on her before, not even once and he’s never considered it. I know all these because he tells me everything. He literally puts her first all the time and she seems to have a strong hold on him.

About 2 years into their relationship, they had a little misunderstanding and she left him for another man, gallivanting round town with him while Seun’s life was placed on hold. He literally became a shadow of himself. We tried everything we could to get him back to normal and trust me it took forever.

Just when he was beginning to move on, Jennifer showed up from nowhere to ask for forgiveness months after she rejected his pleas for her to leave the other guy and come back to him; everyone including his mother warned against taking her back but all warnings fell on deaf ears, they ended up getting back together because as usual, she manipulated him and made him believe it was his fault. I think I need to beg her for the secret formula she used to make my best friend so love struck because it’s definitely working. I added Seun to my specimen list because I’d really like to know how he’s able to stay faithful to just one woman for so long, it’s really hard to find guys like him these days, I consider him to be a rare breed worthy of investigation.

Specimen 4 is none other than my darling boyfriend, Nonso. We’ve been dating for 2 years now, we were actually friends before becoming lovers, though we weren’t very close. I didn’t even want to date him at first because I was afraid our friendship might change if we did but he insisted and I obliged because it wasn’t so easy to resist him. Nonso is my ideal kind of guy, he’s tall, handsome, playful, fun to be with and down to earth; the only problem I have with him is that he seems to have more female friends than male ones and he seems to enjoy hanging out with them too. I don’t know if it’s just me but I think there’s something wrong with that because I don’t trust the girls that flock around him, I believe they have a hidden agenda. There was even a time I had to take a trip to Calabar for a training only for a few days and one of his so called friends came over to the house to cook for him. I was so mad when I found out because I imagined all sorts in my head like her offering to serve him and clean up after cooking or begging to sleep over with the excuse that it was getting late. I didn’t hesitate to give him a piece of my mind because

I didn’t see why he couldn’t manage fast food, garri or noodles for just a few days.

I know some of you might think I’m being paranoid but by the time I’m done telling you our story you’d probably be more paranoid than I am.

 

Before I started dating Nonso, friends warned me that he was a playboy but I never listened because I hate to judge people based on hearsay and he seemed like a nice guy to me.

Six months into dating him, I received a message from his ex telling me he spent the night at her place, the funny thing was that I’d offered to come over to his place that same night but he told me he’d be working till late so I stayed back home. I confronted him when I saw him much later and of course didn’t let him know about the message I received before questioning him and as expected, he denied it.

When I finally showed him the message, you’d think he’d at least be sorry but he kept denying it and blaming the girl for trying to tear us apart. He started getting aggressive when I refused to listen to anything he had to say but that didn’t stop me from ignoring him.

From that day, I became a watchdog. I started monitoring any of his movements that seemed suspicious to me. Sometimes I noticed that when I was with him, if he went to the bathroom without his phone, he’d quickly run back to get it and he always slept with his phone under his pillow; whenever I needed to use his phone, he would sit beside and watch me while I used it, then take it back immediately I was done. I kept asking if he was hiding something but he denied it.

I know some people may think it’s wrong to go through your partner’s phone, they probably see it as an invasion of privacy but with the way Nonso had been acting suspicious, I didn’t care if his privacy was invaded; I needed to know if he was still seeing his ex. I kept monitoring his phone waiting for the best time to strike.

Finally, one day, he came to visit me at my place; I currently stay in the boys quarters of my parents’ house, I had them furnish it for me so I could be away from the main house and have my own privacy.

That day, for some miraculous reason, he forgot his phone at my place, I didn’t even notice until after I saw him off to the door and was clearing up. Trust me, when I saw the phone lying on the sofa, it was like I had just discovered Gold, I locked the door, ran to the phone and immediately started my ultimate search from his inbox, to his call log and then photos and videos. By the time I was done, I began to wish he never forgot his phone. In his inbox there were messages from at least 3 different girls, his ex and two others. You wouldn’t believe he was asking one of them out on a date, while the other was thanking him for an amazing night. I found out that he and his ex exchanged messages and spoke to each other every day; he also lied that I was just a friend and she complained she wasn’t comfortable with our friendship so he promised to do something about it. I thought I’d seen it all till I opened his videos, I saw what looked like porn and was wondering why he had it saved on his phone, out of curiosity, I played it and what I saw seriously shocked me, I almost thought I was seeing things. The video was a 45 minute long sex tape of him and his ex, after watching the first few seconds, I consoled myself thinking they must’ve recorded it before we started dating, then I checked the date of the video and realised it was recorded just the day before.

I just stood there staring in shock with my mouth wide open, my heart was burning in anger and my hands were starting to shake. How on earth could he do this? He lied to me that he had nothing to do with his ex and even told me she was the one begging to have him back when actually from what I saw he was asking to see her too. He seemed really happy doing the deed with her in the video too. Words can’t describe what it felt like watching my boyfriend have sex with his ex. I was enraged. I felt like committing murder. I was still thinking of what to do to him when the door bell rang, I knew it was Nonso rushing back to get his phone after realising that he’d left it behind. With the rage still burning in me, I went to the kitchen, picked up a knife and walked towards the door to answer it…..

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Dr.O is a graduate of the University of Szeged in Hungary who is on a mission to reduce the mortality rate in our society by creating awareness about preventable and non-preventable diseases and empowering people with the necessary knowledge and information they need to take charge of their health. checkwithdoctoro.com was co-founded by her as a means to fulfilling this mission. She is an MDCN (Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria) and Hungarian Medical Chamber certified doctor. When she is not busy looking for ways to make a difference in her environment, you can find her trying out new recipes in the kitchen or touring the world.