“Really? And what is it that I’m thinking?” I asked looking straight into his eyes so I could listen to the words he wasn’t saying. “I was going to tell you about Obinna” he began, “I was just waiting for the right time.”
“And when was the right time going to be? 10 years later?” I asked raising my voice. “Please calm down” he begged, “I promise I was going to tell you this year, I just needed to find the right way to break it to you” he said.
“I never planned to have a son out of wedlock especially with a woman I don’t even love but somehow I couldn’t control myself and it happened.” He explained.
“My mistake cost me the only woman I ever fell in love with before we met, it was a bitter pill for me to swallow but I had to be a man and take responsibility for my actions. God knows I’ve tried so hard to get Nancy to leave me alone but she wouldn’t. I try to be nice to her because she’s the mother of my son and I love him very much but I don’t have any feelings whatsoever for her. The only thing that she is good for as far as I’m concerned is sex, she’s not my type” he said.
“So she’s not your type but you keep sleeping with her repeatedly and even have the effrontery to record videos of your dirty deeds when it pleases you?” I asked.
“Oh!” He replied clearly shocked at my response, he had no idea that I was still angry about the video, I could see he wasn’t quite sure how to respond, “but I didn’t know when she recorded the video” he responded in his defense, “she planned it as a surprise and sent it to me afterwards”
“That is not the point. You slept with her while we were together and still were not remorseful enough to delete the nonsense from your phone”
“I’m sorry” he said hanging his head in shame. “Sonia, I love you, I don’t know why sometimes I find it hard to control myself around Nancy but it’s you I love” he begged “maybe I used to feel sorry for her and give in to her demands because she is the mother of my son but I’ve changed, I don’t do it anymore. I promised to put a stop to that after I met you and I really tried even though it wasn’t easy. I swear on my life I haven’t slept with any other woman in the last few months, not even Nancy” he pleaded. “Please don’t leave me, we can raise Obinna together and be happy. I love you so much, please just give me a chance to show you” he begged coming over to my side of the table and kneeling down, I’m nothing without you”
I couldn’t understand why he was being so dramatic, I hadn’t even said anything about leaving him yet and he was already acting like he was going to die if I did.
I took both his hands squeezing them tightly and staring into his eyes. He was my one true love, the one I would willingly sacrifice heaven and earth just to be with, I couldn’t understand how one person could bring me so much happiness and pain at the same time; I knew about the popular saying, “love is pain” but the current pain I felt was more than I could bear. I’d had dreams in the past of living happily ever after one day with Nonso but having to deal with a desperate woman like Nancy or raising a child that wasn’t mine was not part of the picture I had in mind. I had to take the decision to leave Nonso at that moment or stand the risk of a lifetime of misery, pain and hurt. I knew that leaving him would hurt for a while but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I had become a strong woman over the years.
I finally cleared my throat and found the courage to do the needful. “I’m done with this relationship” I began, “I can’t continue like this anymore. I love you but your son needs you more…..I’m sorry” I said letting go of his hands and getting up to take my leave, “Sonia,please don’t leave me now” Nonso begged holding tightly to my knees “I would die if you leave me”
“You won’t die” I said softly, pulling off his hands from around my knees, “you’ll be fine” I said quickly walking away from him when I managed to free myself…..I went into my car locked myself up and cried for hours, I had just made one of the toughest decisions of my life, I was scared about the future and worried that I may never meet someone better but I knew I had done the right thing.
That was how my experiment ended. Did I eventually find the answers to my questions? Well maybe I was able to answer some. The answers others may remain a mysteries but at least I was able to identify 4 classes of men to watch out for. I will now present them to you in no particular order.
Specimen 4 represents the class of men who constantly cheat because they find it difficult to be in control of their desires just like Nonso did. He loved me but couldn’t resist the urge to cheat when it came and he wasn’t completely open with me probably because he was scared to lose me, it’s the same with many men today, They love their partners but somehow find themselves cheating because they haven’t learnt to say no to their desires; the unlucky ones end up regretting their actions after it’s too late and their partners are gone while for the lucky ones realise their mistakes and correct it before their partners get to find out. Specimen 1 represents the men with wandering eyes like my father who are never satisfied with their partners; they may have the perfect partner but are still always looking for something more and in the process, they end up cheating on their partners with women who are worse than them in every way. The unlucky ones like my father only realise when it’s too late, that they’ve settled for rice and stew when they had jollof rice at home.
Specimen 2 represents the very little percentage of men like my brother Steven who have learnt to be in control of their desires and have refused to be distracted by the female charm. Do these men really exist you may ask? well yes they do but only very few women are lucky enough to find them.
Specimen 3 represents the men who are popularly called “pants” by their fellow men because they are suckers for love like my best friend Seun, they would go to any length to please their women and are always at their beck and call. These type of men hardly cheat on their partners; unfortunately, they are the ones that get cheated on the most because their partners usually take them for granted. We didn’t get to see much of this character as represented by my best friend Seun because he was away for most of the time I conducted my experiment but maybe some other time, I’ll tell you more about him.
Now that you know four different classes of men which class does your man (do you) belong to?