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Old enough yet unmarried 9: Love, betrayal and health

Dr. O.



Continued from episode 8.

I realised it might not have been the best time to ask any further questions but I needed to know why he called so I started questioning her,she eventually calmed down and was able to tell us why, according to her, he called to say he was sorry about what he did to her and he really loved her but had to marry the other lady because that was his mother’s wish, apparently she had vowed never to let him marry any girl outside of his tribe and did everything within her power to make sure it didn’t happen. The summary of the gist is that he wanted her forgiveness before he walked down the aisle but Charly wasn’t ready to reconcile ,instead she reigned curses on both of them and asked him never to call her again. It may sound funny but I actually think Moyo sincerely loved her, he was just too much of a “mummy’s boy” to stand up to his mother. I hope he finds happiness with the chosen wife.

Charly’s mum called a few minutes later and they talked it through, Charly and her mum are pretty much like sisters, they tell each other everything, she felt much better after talking to her and in no time was joking around with us again, I have to be honest Charly is a strong woman, I don’t know where she draws her strength but that’s something I really admire about her, she never lets anything weigh her down.

Later on we got back to the gist of Yemi’s surprise proposal, Yemi asked Bayo how he had planned everything with such short notice and he explained how he had been planning to propose to her when she got back from the trip to Ghana but thought it would be more memorable to propose in Ghana when she invited him to come along, he had bought the ring already so he quickly arranged for the t-shirts to be printed and took them along with him, the original plan was for Oby, Charly and I to be the ones to wear the t-shirts but when he saw the Kente girls he changed plans and arranged with the hotel manager to use them instead, he came up with the singing performance part of the plan during the party, I suspect that in the process of arranging things with the girls he got close to that particular girl and couldn’t keep his manhood to himself as usual, what amazes me is how he managed to have the heart to go ahead with the proposal barely less than an hour after he slept with someone else, I couldn’t help but feel guilty each time it crossed my mind and I remembered I hadn’t told Yemi yet.

Our conversation shifted from the proposal to wedding planning, we were discussing colours and styles of bridesmaids’ gowns when Oby pointed out that Jumai was missing, I offered to go to her room to get her.

I was about to knock on the door when I reached Jumai’s room then I heard her voice, “nonsense! It’s so early in the morning and you still can’t get it up, why do you even call yourself a man?” I heard her say, there was no reply from Abdul but she continued, ” 5 years and counting without a child yet you’re still not bothered because the world is pointing accusing fingers at me and not you, you say the doctor said it’s diabetes but when I ask you to go to the hospital to solve your problems you start getting angry”

This time Abdul replied her, “keep quiet Madam, it’s too early for your nagging games” I heard him say, “you call this nagging games?” Jumai asked, “if it wasn’t for my parents, I’d have left you a long time ago, I wonder how many women will go through what I have gone through with you and not get a divorce” she added, that statement was immediately followed by what sounded like a slap and there was sudden silence.

Everything began to make sense to me, the bruise I had seen on her face last night, their childless marriage and Jumai’s refusal to talk. Jumai had painted the picture of a perfect marriage to us, she made us think that Abdul was the best thing that happened since sliced bread and was probably too ashamed to tell us her marriage was not so perfect after all especially since we were all envious of it and never missed a chance to tell her how lucky she was. Abdul had probably been physically abusing her for sometime while she suffered in silence.

What I understood from their conversation was that Abdul had Diabetes which eventually led to erectile dysfunction and fertility problems.

Diabetes is a condition that affects the body’s ability to regulate sugar levels in the blood inevitably leading to high blood sugar levels, when this condition is not properly managed over a long period of time it could lead to complications one of which is erectile dysfunction(inability to get and maintain an erection), so you can imagine, if Abdul could not even get an erection then how was he supposed to get Jumai pregnant?
After a few seconds, Jumai spoke up again

” I miss the man I married 5 years ago,he was sweet, caring and would never raise his hands to hurt me, he bought me gifts to put a smile on my face and not because he was trying to compensate for turning me into his punching bag.” I could tell from the sound of her voice that she was trying not to cry, Abdul replied saying he was sorry, he sounded like he really meant it but from Jumai’s response you could tell she wasn’t convinced, “I hear that all the time, those words mean nothing to me.I’ll believe them when you stop hitting me” she replied in a shaky voice.
I still had my ears glued to the door, I was leaning against it when suddenly it flung open and sent me tumbling into the room head first while struggling to keep my balance, I ended up landing flat on the floor,to say I was totally embarrassed would be an understatement. I lifted my head slowly to face Jumai and Abdul, their facial expressions changed from shock to confusion and then to anger in less than one minute.


At that moment I knew I had messed up,I mean how on earth was I going to explain what just happened? I seriously wished the ground would open up and swallow me or I could rewind time and quietly walk back to my room but none of that happened, I just lay there helpless on the ground like a sallah ram that was about to be slaughtered.

Click here for episode 10 tomorrow at 7am

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Dr.O is a graduate of the University of Szeged in Hungary who is on a mission to reduce the mortality rate in our society by creating awareness about preventable and non-preventable diseases and empowering people with the necessary knowledge and information they need to take charge of their health. was co-founded by her as a means to fulfilling this mission. She is an MDCN (Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria) and Hungarian Medical Chamber certified doctor. When she is not busy looking for ways to make a difference in her environment, you can find her trying out new recipes in the kitchen or touring the world.