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Old enough yet unmarried 13: Love, betrayal and health

Dr. O.



Continued from episode 12.

After our marathon round we had a heart to heart discussion, I asked him to tell me the truth. He stuck with what he had earlier said and insisted his wife was the one refusing to sign the divorce papers, he said he had been tired of the marriage for over a year now and they’d been on this divorce issue for a while but she had just refused to let him go,he added that I hadn’t met her all this time because she had been away on an official training. I asked about her lover overseas that he had earlier mentioned and he confessed that he made up the part about her having a lover although he was strongly convinced that she had been cheating on him.Now that she was back, I wasn’t going to be able to visit him anymore, he promised to do everything within his power to make sure the divorce was finalised as soon as possible and I believed him.


The next day at work was one of those really slow days, by 12 noon I was already counting down to closing time. Unfortunately, I was on call today so I had no hope of going home that day. I was just about to go for lunch when Jumai showed up in my consulting room with Abdul, I was shocked, I had hoped she’d be able to convince Abdul to come for treatment but I didn’t think it would happen so soon, not after the embarrassing incident in Ghana. “Wow! It’s so good to see you here. Please sit down” I said offering them seats, they sat and we started our discussion, apparently, the problem started shortly after they had gotten married. Abdul seemed very dejected while telling the story,I had never seen him this way before, it was obvious that his ego had been badly bruised by what he was facing. He had been diagnosed of having diabetes a while before he got married and was placed on some medication and dietary measures to control his blood sugar which he never took seriously. Over time,the blood vessels and nerves supplying his manhood got damaged by diabetes leading to the erectile dysfunction he was currently suffering.

In case you didn’t know, a lot of men suffer from erectile dysfunction, both old and young alike but are too embarrassed to seek for help. Many people have the wrong impression that erectile dysfunction is caused by taking too much sugar unfortunately, that is a lie from the pit of hell! Erectile dysfunction has many causes and taking too much sugar is not one of them. You see, for a man to be able to achieve an erection, physical and psychological factors play a role, any disturbance in any of these factors can lead to erectile dysfunction. Some factors that affect the physical aspect include Diabetes, Hypertension, Obesity, heart disease, alcohol and substance abuse or even side effects of taking certain prescribed drugs while some factors that affect the Psychological aspect of erectile dysfunction include Stress, depression and anxiety. Any of these factors can prevent a man from being able to achieve or maintain an erection.

Like I explained to Abdul and Jumai, for men suffering from this condition, there is hope. There are various treatment options available depending on the cause, psychological factors can be addressed with counselling while physical factors can be treated with certain drugs, penile implants and surgery.I placed Abdul on some drugs which he promised to use as prescribed, like I said before, his ego had been badly bruised and he was willing to do anything to get his sexual life back, he went as far as boasting about his sexual prowess in the past just to massage his ego,he got so carried away trying to prove his point that he didn’t even realise when he mistakenly revealed that he impregnated a woman in one of his past relationships and she had a son for him.”You did what?” Jumai asked interrupting his bragging episode, at that moment he realised his mistake, it suddenly dawned on him that he had said a little too much.


There was an awkward silence in the room, Abdul opened his mouth to talk but no words could come out, it was like he had suddenly become deaf and dumb, this got Jumai even more angry,I’m not sure I had ever seen her so angry in all my years of knowing her, the Jumai I know would never confront anyone but this time it seemed like a showdown was about to begin right there in my consulting room, “Answer me you, Cheat” she shouted poking his chest with her finger, He immediately held her hand firmly,he squeezed it so tight, I thought he was going to break it, “don’t you ever call me that” he replied finally regaining his ability to talk, it was as if Jumai had just said the magic word that brought back his speech, “really I shouldn’t?” Jumai continued clearly not moved by what Abdul was doing to her hand, “what do you call a man who has a useless son outside of his marriage and doesn’t deem it necessary to let his wife know till over 5 years later when he exposes himself at the doctor’s office?” Jumai asked sarcastically, Before I could even process the meaning of that sentence, Abdul’s hand landed on Jumai’s face giving her a resounding slap, I immediately jumped up from my seat almost flying over my table to separate them both, “Don’t you ever refer to my son like that” he said shouting over my shoulders…

I wonder why I am always ever present in times of trouble, Here I was thinking we had solved one problem now another one has cropped up.

Click here for episode 14

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Dr.O is a graduate of the University of Szeged in Hungary who is on a mission to reduce the mortality rate in our society by creating awareness about preventable and non-preventable diseases and empowering people with the necessary knowledge and information they need to take charge of their health. was co-founded by her as a means to fulfilling this mission. She is an MDCN (Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria) and Hungarian Medical Chamber certified doctor. When she is not busy looking for ways to make a difference in her environment, you can find her trying out new recipes in the kitchen or touring the world.