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Old enough yet unmarried 15: Love, betrayal and health

Dr. O.

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Continued from episode 14

I was about to open my mouth to speak then her phone rang, “hey husband what’s up?” She said picking up the phone, “You’re outside?” She continued, “naughty you, I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it.” She added with a giggle, “I’ll be down in a few minutes” she said hanging up. She informed me that she had planned to see a movie that night with Bayo and he had earlier said he wouldn’t be able to make it only to show up unannounced at our place. Way to go Bayo! Perfect timing, I thought to myself, “what was it you wanted to say again?” She asked, “never mind” I said, “it’s not important”. I wasn’t about to ruin their date night with my bad news, I figured I’d find a more convenient time to tell her if I ever found the courage again.

I could not understand why something always came up or I developed cold feet whenever I wanted to tell her about Bayo’s escapade with the “kente lady” , maybe it was a sign for me to keep my mouth shut and mind my business, but I wouldn’t be a good friend if I kept quiet would I? If my friends ever caught my Fiancé cheating before my wedding, I think I’d want to know. Few minutes later, Yemi was all dressed up, she waved goodbye to me before hurriedly rushing out to join Bayo . Finally, I was alone at home all by myself, I was free to take that power nap I wanted before Yemi began her chattering away but somehow I couldn’t get myself to sleep,I felt guilty, I needed to talk to someone.

I picked up my phone to dial Tolu’s number, as usual it rang with no response, that had been the trend for the past 3days, I could not understand why he hadn’t bothered to get back to me after all the numerous missed calls I left him, different thoughts ran through my mind, could his wife have hijacked his phone? Did he lose it? Did he have to suddenly travel without letting me know?. Then the thought suddenly came to my mind that maybe he was avoiding me, but why would he? We never fought, I didn’t do anything wrong and our last rendezvous was amazing, I could still picture myself in his arms at the hotel, so why wasn’t he picking my calls? I couldn’t think of what the problem was, as a matter of fact it gave me sleepless nights, I made up my mind to go to his workplace to see him after work and if he wasn’t there I’d have no choice than to go to his house to see him whether his wife was around or not, after all he said he was divorcing her. The next day after work I went to his workplace to see him as planned, I had called a couple of times before going but there was no response as usual.

Luckily as I just finished parking my car in front of the hospital, I saw him come out through the main entrance door, he was probably done for the day, I watched him as he walked towards the parking lot while I was still in my car, I immediately dialled his number to ask him to wait for me, the phone rang as usual, he brought it out of his pocket, looked at it and put it right back. I felt like I had just been dealt a blow on my face, why on earth was he avoiding me?

I was about to come out to confront him when he walked up to a car that was parked not too far from the entrance, the car wasn’t his as far as I knew unless he had just bought a new car in the past week, I was still trying to figure out whose car it was when a lady came out of the driver’s side and gave him a kiss on the lips. He playfully squeezed her bum as she handed him the keys to the car, he got into the driver’s seat while she sat beside him and they drove off. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen, the lady in question was not even his wife, she was a young beautiful girl probably not more than 25years old. Heart break is not even enough to describe how I felt after what I had just seen, I had fallen so in love with this man who had been playing games with me all the while. I can’t even remember how I was able to drive myself home that day, I was weak. I cried myself to sleep. The worst part was that I didn’t have anyone to confide in because I hadn’t told any of the girls about him, Yemi who knew he existed didn’t know the full story.

 

I decided I needed to get some closure, if he was going to dump me he should at least be a man and tell me and not avoid me like I was some kind of plague. The next day I called his phone, this time with a different number, believe it or not I actually bought a new sim card to make that call because he had been avoiding picking private numbers. The phone barely rang and he picked immediately, “Hello Dr. Tolu speaking, how can I help you?” he said in the most cheerful voice, “so you’ve been avoiding me?” I said immediately, at the sound if my voice he began to stammer, “Te-ss-ss-y?” He said, “yes it’s me, it’s nice to know you still pick your phone these days” I added sarcastically, “I’m sorry” he started to explain, “it’s just that you’re always calling at the wrong times and I’m always too tired to call back when I’m less busy ” he lied, “really?” I asked “yes” he stammered, “actually there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you” he quickly added,” I’m listening” I said, “I don’t know how this is going to sound but I may not be getting a divorce anymore” he announced pausing for a while to hear my response but I said nothing, “my wife and I have decided to try to work things out for Dade’s sake” he explained further, “I see” I finally mumbled, “so what happens to us?” I asked, “we can’t continue this relationship” he said, “I’m really sorry” he added heaving a huge sigh, “please try to understand” . Those were the last words he said before he hung up on me without even waiting to hear if I had anything to say.

I think that has to be one of the worst break ups of the century, Dude didn’t even have the courtesy to call, He broke up with me on my own airtime and didn’t even let me finish. I was definitely getting paid back in my own coins, what was I thinking dating a married man? Now I understand why they say “almost doesn’t count”, almost divorced is not the same as being divorced, he cheated on his wife with me, why did I imagine my case would be any different? I should have quit while I was still winning.

The next few days for me were horrible, I had become a shadow of myself and the worst part was I didn’t tell a single soul what I was going through, I was bottling it all up. On one of the days I was home watching TV when they were showing an advertisement for sanitary pads, it was so creative, I was enjoying it. It was at that moment that it dawned on me that I hadn’t seen my period in a while, I panicked and checked the calendar on my phone, my period was 10 days late already. How was it possible that I hadn’t seen my period for 10 days and I didn’t notice? I began scolding myself but the truth was with the way I was so depressed, even if 30 days passed I wouldn’t have noticed. I began to think of all the possible reasons my period could be coming late, I know that some times a period may be delayed due to stress, use of contraceptive pills, hormonal imbalance, being underweight or overweight and certain medical conditions.

I tried to figure out which one of them applied to me and concluded I must be stressed. I waited anxiously for it to come, 5 more days passed, still there was nothing. I knew that another reason I hadn’t seen my period could be because of pregnancy but I didn’t even want to think about it, not with everything that was going on. As much as I dreaded it, after 7 more days passed without any sign of my period, I decided to get a home pregnancy test kit to take the Almighty pregnancy test.

I opened up the pack and read the instructions carefully as I began to carry out what it said step by step, the instruction was to dip one end of the strip in the urine to be tested which was to be collected in the container provided and wait for sometime. The pregnancy strip had one red coloured bar on it, after dipping one end into the urine, if a second red coloured bar appeared beside the first after a while, then the test was positive, if it remained one coloured bar then it was negative.

If you’ve ever done a home pregnancy test before then you would know that it was the longest few minutes of my life, My heart was pounding as I waited to see what would happen to the bars on the test strip. For the first few seconds, the bar on the strip remained single, I kept my fingers crossed, I was getting ready to heave a huge sigh of relief then I noticed a second bar start to form slowly but surely, it started as a faded pink line then suddenly it became darker and darker till it was bright red like the initial single bar.

“Noooo!” I screamed, “I can’t be pregnant”. I began to sweat like my bathroom had suddenly become an oven and was beginning to roast me alive. My hands were starting to shake. How could I be pregnant? Why me? Why now? What did I do to deserve this?!!!

Click here for episode 16

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Dr.O is a graduate of the University of Szeged in Hungary who is on a mission to reduce the mortality rate in our society by creating awareness about preventable and non-preventable diseases and empowering people with the necessary knowledge and information they need to take charge of their health. checkwithdoctoro.com was co-founded by her as a means to fulfilling this mission. She is an MDCN (Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria) and Hungarian Medical Chamber certified doctor. When she is not busy looking for ways to make a difference in her environment, you can find her trying out new recipes in the kitchen or touring the world.