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Men's sexual health

6 things you must know about the fear of sex (coitophobia)




Judith is a woman in her mid-twenties: educated, learned and exposed. Like many other women, she desires someday to have a family of her own – a man who would love and cherish her and kids she would adore. The problem however is she is afraid of having sex. Although she has never been abused sexually, the thought of sex not only scares her but also irritates her. She thinks it’s too intimate and dirty and she doesn’t ever want to be involved in such an act. Judith also doesn’t like to be touched by the opposite sex. She doesn’t like hugs, playfully kisses and to be held by the hand for too long.  Judith however has a special friend, Adewumi, whom she has fallen in love with.

Adewumi and Judith have been good friends for six years and while Adewumi had made his intentions known to Judith few months into their friendship – he loves her and desires her for his future wife, Judith on the other hand thinks of Adewumi as a friend and nothing more. Few years into their friendship, Judith eventually fell in love with Adewumi and thankfully, he hadn’t changed his mind – he wants her still. Judith has however found herself in a dilemma – she loves Adewumi, she desires to marry him but she doesn’t ever want to have sex. The thought of being sexually intimate with Adewumi scares and disgusts her. Often times she would think to herself that she would willingly and happily marry her love Adewumi as long as he doesn’t mind them not having sex – she just can’t do it.

  • Coitophobia is simply the physical and psychological fear of sexual intimacy
  • There are different forms of coitophobia and they could vary in their intensity (some sufferers completely refrain from all forms of physical contact while some are only afraid of protracted contacts)
  • People who suffer from the phobia can be intensely afraid and may suffer panic attacks by attempted sexual contacts or merely thoughts of it
  • Individuals who have never been sexually abused can develop the phobia, however, victims of sexual abuse are at a higher risk
  • The fear of nudity, fear of being vulnerable, fear of performance, religious and moral orientations are all factors that contribute to coitophobia
  • Coitophobia generally requires professional treatment. Sufferers can be helped by mental health professionals in overcoming their fear.

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Mofeyintioluwa is a health enthusiast who has particular interests in nutrition and fitness. She also loves music and enjoys reading Christian biographies. She thinks social work and public health are noble professions. Ultimately, she's exclusively for Jesus.

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