Conflict is a normal part of every relationship, even happy and healthy ones. In healthy relationships, it is normal for couples to disagree and also argue some of the time. Usually, the source of conflict could be about finances, house chores or something very insignificant.
In most relationships, one very common source of stress is sexual intimacy and there are quite a number of reasons for this. Men and women are different in quite a number of ways and in marriage especially, these differences are always very glaring.
When it comes to matters regarding sexual desire, men and women are usually different. It is often thought and believed that all men have very high sexual drive but this is not true; there are exceptions. Also, not all women have little interest in sex; there are some women who have a high libido.
In most marriages, however, we find that the man and the woman are not usually on the same page regarding sexual desire or sex drive. Due to this disparity, conflict can occur and if not properly managed, the relationship would be greatly affected.
Sexual desire problems are not abnormal and are a part of most relationships; even the healthy ones and you should therefore not let it get in the way of your happiness and destroy your relationship.
While this disparity may remain (there’s not much you can do to make your partner with a naturally high sex drive become less into sex and vice-versa), there are nevertheless certain things you can do to ease out your differences:
- Be kind to your partner (husbands deserve kindness too). The way you treat your partner outside the bedroom will most certainly affect the quality of your sex life
- Identify emotional problems and deal with it. Are there problems with self-esteem, trust, body image or is there performance anxiety ? Deal with them as they can get in the way of sexual fulfillment
- Are you the one with the higher sex drive? Do not criticize or condemn your partner for his/her lower sex drive. Do not also threaten to get sex elsewhere; this could ruin your relationship. Do not put your partner under pressure to get sexually intimate with you
- If you are the one with the lower sex drive, understand that your partner’s requests for sexual intimacy are important to your bond as a loving, happy and long-term couple. Do not ridicule or despise him/her
- Deal with exhaustion. If your partner is usually tired and burned out at the end of the day and would rather have a good sleep than get sexually intimate with you, then you should help him/her more. Combat that stress together. Ask what you can do to help him/her feel less pressured